About Me

My photo
It's interesting to look at your life, past to present, and think: "It has all led up to this...." And then wonder where it will lead to next.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

What to do, what to do...

Now that life has mellowed out, feels adjusted, and back to "normal", I find myself wandering the house looking for more to do. Gabriel has somewhat of a schedule now, Aiden seems to be moving out of his crazy tantrum stage (or maybe I'm just used to it?), and now that I finally have a daily routine (the thing I've been longing for) I am tired of it. I want to do more. Or get better at what I'm doing. Or both.

I have never been a crafty person. I've tried (a little). I come from an artsy family, so I tried my hand at music, art, and dance (dance being the only one that really kept my interest). I've never been one to love coming up with creative ways to learn, or anything like that. But I have never had a 3 year old before either. So now I am challenged. Do I cling to the fact that I am not good at this stuff? Or do it anyway, even if I am never as good as the women who thrive at it? 

I always knew I would be a stay at home mom until my kids went to school because I knew I didn't want any one else raising my kids (besides my husband, that is). I feel that way even more strongly now than before I had children, but it still doesn't come easy. I am constantly challenged, tired, and bored. It's awesome to be with my kids, see the way they change and grow every single day, to teach and learn from them, and they are just lots of fun in general. But it is also hard to live at the level of a baby and toddler all the time. I make plenty of play dates just to have some adult interaction. On the days I don't, I end up calling Aaron a lot more through out the day. Don't get me wrong, we do a lot of fun things. We play games, ride bikes, go to parks, hike, play in the creek, go to the library, read LOTS of books, draw/paint. But honestly, sometimes I really want to do some real adult stuff more often. I guess that's life, no? Always wanting more of what we don't have. So it's a challenge. And sometimes I'm bored even in the midst of a challenge. 

No comments: