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It's interesting to look at your life, past to present, and think: "It has all led up to this...." And then wonder where it will lead to next.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Compromise...

Ladies be warned. Sure compromise is good for marriage, even necessary, but don't be fooled, it is not your friend. Ok, let me elaborate. Years ago Aaron had a dream. A dream to own a motorcycle. And, unfortunately, to ride it too. A dual-purpose bike to be exact. So that, you know, he could not only ride it off road, but also on the road with all the crazy drivers. Now, I'm a pretty easy going person and Aaron has had it fairly easy (all my craziness aside) these few years. In fact when I once told a friend that I had almost reached my limit on something, he said, "Oh, you have one of those?" However, when Aaron mentioned this deep desire for a bike, I did not even hesitate to say "NO!" Crushing his dreams without remorse. There are not many things I have put my foot down on, but I have seen too many bodies, and limbs detached from bodies, to allow even the possibility of a similar fate for my husband. You see, it's not that I am cruel, it's that I love him that much. And that, my friends, was my biggest mistake. Doing something out of love instead of cruelty. Weakness, ladies. Take note and learn.

After years of Aaron yammering on and on about how awesome it would be to have a bike, we finally reached the point where him getting one was actually even an option. Besides that one big obstacle-- ME! So the "discussion" continued full force. Finally, I decided to give him a glimmer of hope just to get him to stop trying to convince me. I said to myself, Compromise. That is the solution. Ha. I told him that I would consider the option of him getting a bike only once he got health and life insurance. I really thought I had him here because we own our own business and insurance is a blood sucking vampire of the money world, so I assumed it would be years before we'd get to the point where we could afford it (chop off an arm to save a leg, you know the drill). But what I forgot about my husband is, he is absolutely determined. Looong story short. Aaron figured out that by riding a bike to and from job sites and estimates instead of his car, we would save more than enough to afford life insurance and health insurance for both of us. You see, I really hadn't thought my side of this whole deal through. Because now my husband owns a dual-purpose bike (as always he found a deal he could not refuse, and it's his dream bike to top it off) and here I am back to square one. Fretting like a mad woman. Sure, I'm thrilled we have insurance now, but is it really going to be worth it when he's out there risking his life even more now? He already climbs freakishly high trees with chainsaws, does he really need to add another life threatening activity to his daily life? Everyday that he rides off to work I watch him and first think, Damn he looks good. And then, Will I ever see him again? Aaron likes to think I am overly dramatic. Maybe I am. But like I said before, I have seen what I've seen, and I cannot unsee it. 

On a positive note, I am praying a whole lot more. 

4 comments:

Caitlin said...

Haha, oh Faith, let me just say again how much I love your writing. This post made me laugh. It actually reminded me of my parents, not in a bad way. My dad had a motorcycle in college, and he used to pull up to Anderson (they went to Montreat), my mom would look out her fourth floor window, see him there all studly on his bike, and go down and they would ride away into the sunset. Okay, so it may not have gone exactly like that, but you get the picture. He had a bike in college and loved it. After they were married and had four kids, he wanted one again, but my mom would have none of it. She actually held her foot down until a couple years ago, all kids out of the house, and living in Germany, my dad finally has his motorcycle back. Haha. Some men just have to have them I suppose.
On the up side, at least it's helping your prayer life. Haha. Oh geez. I'll pray for you guys too--I know what worrying can do to a anxious mind.

Caitlin

Noelle said...

My dad likes motor cross bikes. My uncle died in a motorcycle accident as a teen so he didn't keep one permanently. But I remember that every few years he'd come home with a bike. He'd buy it, drive it around a couple weeks, take us all for rides and then once it was out of his system, he'd sell it again. Of course, he's 53 now and bought TWO bikes last year that he has no intention of selling...

Maybe make him promise not to drive on the highway or at night?

Faith said...

He has already promised me both those things of his own accord- thank goodness!

Sam said...

Faith,

if my husband sees this post...you and I are gonna brawl, lady...worst case senario, in a few months...I'll be watchin my husband leave the driveway thinking, 'damn, he looks good' ;)