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It's interesting to look at your life, past to present, and think: "It has all led up to this...." And then wonder where it will lead to next.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Waking up is so much harder than it seems.

I've been thinking a lot lately about all the stuff I own. All the stuff I want to own. Basically if it is anything cheap (or often even expensive) and trendy, it's probably made by a company who makes money by taking advantage of and contributing to the oppression of the poor. Meaning, I am doing that too. I've read articles that were written yesterday, I've read articles that were written years ago. This information has been here. How is it that I have not cared enough to know until now? No. How is it that I have not cared enough to know more and act?

The more I research, the more overwhelmed I get. The more I just want to stay inside, not buy anything, and hope it all disappears and none of the blame falls on me. I know many of you feel the same. So we play the guilt game, and once the shame wears off, we move on and continue living as we always have. I know this because I've heard these conversations for years, and yet I don't see any change. If people like you and me don't do anything to change this, it's not going to happen. There are only so many brilliant humanitarians on this earth, and only so much they can do. It's easy to look at the wealthy and the famous and think, do something with your money! Instead of giving hand outs,why not create a better system? But really, couldn't we demand the same of ourselves? Shouldn't we?

This is where I get overwhelmed. I am not a pioneer. I don't want to be. Pioneers have to work really hard with little to no pay back. They have to use their minds and hearts consistently and continually. They are often considered foolish and their work is often labeled as a lost cause. Worst yet, they are ordinary people, so none of it comes easy! I'd rather be told what to do. Float along doing what I am told, and feel good about it. As strong-willed as I'd like to see myself, I don't really want to have to use my mind that much. Perhaps feel like I am, or when I want to. But not have to. I sound a little dense, don't I? Well, I am. This is what has gotten our world into this mess in the first place. Purposeful denial. Laziness. Greed. The love of ourselves before all others. We all suffer from it. It's called sin.

God is bigger. That's what we sing right? I'd like to live that. Instead of letting limitations create the way I live, I want to live the way it really is. GOD is BIGGER! We are overwhelmed. He is not. I believe He loves it when we stand up and say, use me! You are bigger! Reveal Your strength in my weakness! You created me, lead me! I want my life to honor you! What does it mean to honor God? Think about it and then look at your life and see if things match up. I know in mine they most often don't. I want that to change.

Now of course, I am not a complete crazy person. I know that we can't change everything in an instant. The truth is, we can't change a single thing. Do you ever find yourself wishing for Christ's return, just so you don't have to worry about all this crap. Because you know when He returns, everything will change and it won't be up to you? But the same is true for right here and now. God is the one doing the work. Making things happen. When we are willing to admit that, I think we'll find our limitations diminish.

So let's take baby steps. I for one have been on this cycle for a long time and I know I am going to struggle greatly to allow or even want God to use me (even though I claim I do all the time, it's simply not true when I actually look at myself).

Prayer. This should be the starting point for all things. I do not pray as much as I used to, or with as much faith or fervor as I'd like to. Most of the time I don't feel like praying. Honestly, the only way I see changing that is just... praying. Let's pray before we research. During. After. Pray for open eyes. For protection against the enemy. For guidane. Then see where God leads us from there.

Please don't be limited to what I share here. Make this your journey.

Watch this.

2 comments:

Noelle said...

Ah, yes. I'm constantly overwhelmed by this. Part of me really cares and wants to change my buying habits and life radically to DO something about it. Then there are the other parts...the poor wife who just wants to buy the cheapest things at the grocery store, the proud 20-something that knows people will look at her funny if she doesn't wear the latest fashion or goes "overboard" and won't buy anything "normal", or even the skeptic part that realizes the whole issue is super complicated and simple changes aren't always going to fix the problem. Can sometimes even make the issues worse. None of it is an excuse but it certainly is overwhelming. And you're right...prayer is of the utmost importance. Because we can't do anything of our own power, and we need Gods guidance to know what steps to take towards a solution.

Travel Heart said...

WOW, Faith, I'm always surprised and amazed at how we think alike sometimes :-) Especially when you say things like "As strong-willed as I'd like to see myself, I don't really want to have to use my mind that much." That's me!! I've recently become part of a new circle of friends who are the most socially conscious group I've ever met. I'm enjoying learning more about making a difference in the world, and I'm overwhelmed my the invasiveness of this stuff (Fair Trade, human trafficking, etc) in everything we do. And while I want to make a difference, I also don't like being uncomfortable. How selfish. After spending months and years in China and Thailand I know that the reality of people living difficult lives exists, but it's so much easier for me to rationalize it when it's far away. Again, how selfish.

Anyway, all that to say, I totally relate, both to your desire to make a difference and to the challenges that poses.