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It's interesting to look at your life, past to present, and think: "It has all led up to this...." And then wonder where it will lead to next.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Maybe one day regular non-vague posts will come again.

‎"When you're happy you enjoy the music, but when you're sad you understand the lyrics." 
-Frank Ocean (I stole this quote from a friend's facebook status because regardless of the fact that I had never heard of Frank Ocean until I read that quote, it's a good one.)

These days I am both enjoying the music and understanding the lyrics. It's a strange place to be, both at the end of one part and the beginning of another. Some days I am overwhelmed with the joy that comes from learning how it feels to be truly loved. Other days I am completely humbled by the experiences that have deepened my life. I no longer ask, Do I deserve this? In anger and bitterness, but, Do I deserve this? In humility and awe. 

God has literally moved my family to the one place I swore I would never move. If you had told me three years ago that God was going to move me to Charlotte in 3 years time, I would have slumped down and cried. Possibly given up on life. Or pulled a serious Jonah. I'm not kidding. The funny thing is, I was excited to come. The funnier thing is, I am so happy I am here. In fact, in this moment, I would be no where else. That is one of the first times I have ever been able to say that. 

I don't have a whole lot of answers, or a whole lot of questions for that matter. After years and years of question after question and hours upon hours of trying to come up with my own answers, I have finally been given a glimpse of what I've been looking for. I wish there was a way to describe it in one little blog post. All I know is, I know for a fact when I look back on my life, this year will stick out as a turning point. There is no doubt about it.

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