Something is happening.
There is a trail of ants from the window behind me all the way to my trash can 5 ft away. Ant traps aren't working. I wipe the trail with the most toxic cleaner I can find. Less than 2 minutes later, the trail continues. Infuriating.
There are mouse droppings on my kitchen counter and in my utensil drawers. The mice are back. I tend to jump and even occasionally squeal when I see one. I hate them with a passion and yet when the mouse trap snaps shut and I hear the little mouse's last screech I can't help but feel bad, wondering if its family will miss it. If it has little baby mice waiting at home. Probably in my closet.
There are cobwebs in almost every corner of my house. Despite the fact that I vacuumed and wiped them all yesterday (including the pesky spiders who made them). I question God's purpose in creating these creatures.
I have to wait in traffic for five minutes and can't sit there without checking facebook on my phone.
Someone cuts me off without even using their blinker. I curse the day they were born and barely stop myself from flipping them off.
I often get frustrated with my house. With my life. The small things. Why are dishes and laundry so unending? The big things. Why do I have to learn everything the hard way? Why can't I ever do anything right the first time? The annoying things. Why are there so many freaking critters in my house?!
When I stop to think about it, these things remind me of my childhood. The things that just were. Growing up where bugs were a part of life, not something gross or infuriating (as though some injustice has been done that I should have to put up with insects). Back when we would eat ant-infested peanut butter with nothing more than a little laugh about the extra protein. When traffic laws were simply guidelines. When nothing came easily and yet I always trusted they would work out.
The other day I made Aaron come into the bathroom and kill a spider for me.
What has happened?!
Spiders the size of my hand used to be a normal thing to see in my home. I used to wake up to scorpions on my bed netting. I used to need a net. Now I am having my husband kill a little spider in the bathroom corner? Something is wrong here. I've become one of those people I used to laugh at.
But then at the end of the day I rest in the fact that at least we don't have those ginormous cockroaches. Those things have always freaked me out.