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It's interesting to look at your life, past to present, and think: "It has all led up to this...." And then wonder where it will lead to next.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Happy 2012: Some things never change (change being one of them)

New years eve, Aaron and I decided if we could just get our kids in bed at a decent enough hour to have some quality hang out time, that would be good enough for us. (By the way, how do people even find babysitters on news years eve?) No fire works or partying for us. Just a movie, some Bailey's, and each other's company. It was a magnificent way to ring in the new year if you ask me. We danced to the credits, laughed till we were afraid we'd wake the kids, and finally made our way to bed around 3 a.m. (we're wild things). It's pretty cool when even after almost 4 years of marriage, two kids, and a lot of life, we're still fun enough for each other to throw our own personal new years eve party and really have a great time.

By the January 1st, my goals for the year were already stressing me out. Not because I was afraid I couldn't accomplish them, but because I started to realized, maybe I didn't want to accomplish all of them. At least not this year. I spent a couple days going over it in my head, a little frustrated that I had already "locked in" my goals for the year. Then I realized... I can change them! The thing that has been bothering me the most is nursing school. I really, really, really want to be a nurse (eventually nurse-midwife). I know I could pursue it now and we could make it work. Part of me has been paranoid that if I don't pursue it now, I never will. The other part of me knows I am determined, and unless God clearly calls me in a different direction, I am pretty confident that this is at least part of what he has in store for me. The thing is that within the first year of our marriage, Aaron and I had a baby, moved 3 times, and started a business. In the 3 years following we moved again, I went back to school, had another baby, moved again. We've never really had any period of consistency. I know that's life, but I also feel a little exhausted by it all. Life has felt so chaotic, I kind of want to get things in order, settle, start family traditions, get good at some things. Things are already so crazy for our family, I just don't know that adding one more big thing like this is what is right for this time in my life. It's taken a lot for me to say it, but even though I really want this, I don't know that I want it right now. Surprisingly to me, I felt relieved after resolving to revamp my goals. Instead of pursuing an associates degree in nursing now, I've thought about finishing my bachelors part-time over the next few years and then getting my BSN when I feel comfortable being in school full-time. Don't hold me to this. Things always change. :)

New Goals:
- Start family traditions
This is the first year that we even celebrated Christmas as our own little family. We've been in survival mode for so long, we hardly have a steady routine, much less family traditions. I hope we can start a few this year.
- Learn to enjoy cooking/baking (and do it well)
If I have to do it anyway, I might as well get good at it. I like eating good food, so I'd like to enjoy making it. I tend to rush through recipes, or worse, wing them. I'm not a bad cook, but I'm definitely not a really good one. I'd like to be though.
- Learn to change out a tire
This was a goal of mine when I bought my first car--then I realized Aaron could do it for me. BUT I'd still like to learn to do it.
- Teach Aiden to swim
I am really excited about this! Not only does it imply that summer will come once again, but I remember first learning to swim, how scary, exhilarating, and freeing it was. I can't believe I get to teach my kid now!
- Get involved with local ministry
Not sure doing what. Preferably something I could do with my kids. Gotta look into it.
- Look into Bachelor degrees
I've always been interested in three things: nursing, nutrition, and journalism. I want to look into getting my Bachelors in either Nutrition or Journalism. See what it would look like if I pursued them part time, and go from there.
- Take a class in the fall
Either a pre-req I need for nursing, or if I decide to pursue another degree first, a class for that.
- Read history
There are a lot of historic events I want to know more about. I would like to read more about them.

The rest remains the same...

- CNA certification
- Quote journal/letters to the boys
- Make running a part of my life again
- Write at least one fictional story
- Start and keep a prayer journal
- Get Christmas gifts done before Thanksgiving
- Try a new trail once a month
- Print pictures
- Have a cleaning schedule, and stick to it
- Date with my sexy husband once a week (even if just a walk!)
- One-on-one mother-son dates each month
- Limit TV to twice a week
- Limit desert to once a week

Perhaps it's slightly narcissistic to assume you'd want to know all this. But then again, all blogging is rather narcissistic if you think about it.

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