I have recently acquired a miniature back seat driver. My very own two (soon to be three) year old. Ah yes, Aiden has discovered the magical powers of traffic lights. His knew found knowledge of these profound laws of the road have inspired him to educate any who dare to sit in the driver's seat. "RED MEANS STOP!" he screams the second he sees a red light approaching. He repeats this command until I come to a complete stop (even if I am still several hundred feet away from it). And heaven forbid I hesitate for even a second when the light turns green. "GREEN MEANS GO, MOMMY! GREEN MEANS GO!" he yells at the top of his lungs. Let me tell ya, it's really added an extra little something to my every day driving experience.
Sometimes his toddler antics are really quite adorable. Other times, they hit nerves. The funny thing is that the very thing that is cute one day can be absolutely intolerable on another day. Or even at a different point in the same day. For example, when we're on a fun family outing, say to the play ground, Aiden making sure we are aware of the lights is rather amusing. We laugh and play the game back with him, and secretly wonder how we got so lucky to have such a great kid. But then let's say we're driving in traffic after a stressful event. The air is tense. Gabriel is crying in the back seat. I gasp because the idiots in front of us slam on their breaks when passing a police car (despite the fact that they are driving the speed limit). My gasp scares Aaron, which frustrates him (he is, after all, in control of the situation-- why must I doubt?). I then get annoyed with Aaron for being annoyed with me for something I can't help. Some jerk cuts us off. I gasp again. "RED MEANS STOP!" Aiden manages to yell twice before Aaron makes it to the red light. Ahead of us are ten more intersections. Ten more lights. Ten more "RED MEANS STOP!" or "GREEN MEANS GO!" And those are the times when your left eye begins to twitch, your shoulders creep up to your ears, and it takes everything in you not to jump out of a moving vehicle.
Such is life with a toddler.