I am so glad that my purpose here in this world is not to figure life out. Phew. Isn't that a relief? Of course, I don't always realize that. Some days I feel it is my mission to figure life out, and when I can't I get pretty frustrated. Do you ever find yourself thinking, Wait, I thought I had this part figured out and now it's all gone to shit and I'm back at having nothing figured out!
I hope so. For my sake.
A friend and I decided that you aren't truly a "grown up" until you've accepted the fact that you don't have things figured out and that you never will. That moments of clarity are just that; moments. But don't discredit moments. A moment can change the direction of an entire life. And life itself is made up of moments. It's not an uphill journey where each step we take takes us up. Sometimes we walk backwards, or in place, or trip and fall on our butts. Sometimes we jog comfortably, sometimes we sprint with ease, sometimes we pass out from exhaustion. Sometimes we crawl on all fours, or simply lay still and wait to be lifted. Life is an ever changing terrain, and we can never see what's coming next. The sooner we accept that, the sooner we'll allow ourselves grace to take each day as it comes with what we have. Not what we think we should have.
I wish it was as easy as writing down all the ridiculous expectations I have of myself and then crumpling it up and tossing it out.