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It's interesting to look at your life, past to present, and think: "It has all led up to this...." And then wonder where it will lead to next.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Sometimes, you just have to fake it to make it...

The air outside is filled with a fine, misty rain, the sky a grim grey, and the trees a depressing array of bare branches. The fog drifts its droll and dreary self over our mountain, resting in our little cove for a time before drifting on down the mountain to sulk some place else. Perhaps this should be romantic. I should be sitting next to my fire with a warm beverage and a book, drinking in the moments I have to myself before my toddler wakes. Even though I just came from a boisterous play group with Aiden and should be soaking up the silence, I somehow feel very alone and deprived of fellowship. I should be taking pride as I devour the left overs of the best chicken soup I have ever made, while looking forward to the fresh cookies I just baked, and relish the fact that I have the time to make things from scratch again. Instead, I stare into the cold screen of my computer, typing words, looking for comfort where I know it doesn't exist. Is this the plague of a stay-at-home-mom? The eternal quest of a longing heart? Or simply a season that will pass along with the weather? Since I cannot answer those questions with more than a vague "perhaps" or "maybe", I'll choose instead a book to accompany my visit with the fire, coffee and a cookie (or two) to comfort my soul, and hope that if I make my life appear romantic, it will feel that way too.

1 comment:

Breka said...

If it's not a universal human condition, then it very nearly is.