Today the fog has shifted. My mood has brightened. I mean who can stay angry while out doors with no need for even a sweater? Ok, so maybe I finally made room for God-time in my busy nothingness and started my day out right. Not that a quiet time is a guarantee for a good day, but starting your day with truth as opposed to self-pitying lies definitely doesn't hurt your chances. I am still sick, but have made the decision not to let it ruin another beautiful day for me. My mother always tells me to think positive. This is my least favorite advice. The last thing a pessimist wants to hear is "think positive!" on an extra crappy day. Today, however, I will do just that. But not because she told me to. Because I want to.
Being sick actually has an upside. Not being able to breathe through my nose has saved me from many a foul smells the last few days! Even though I was feeling nauseous last night, my husband was allowed to freely fart near me with out me feeling the need to express how disgusting his natural bodily functions are. Today while eating lunch, I was able to continue eating and enjoying my sandwich despite the fact that Oliver was pooping on his little potty next to me. And the inability to taste has moved me to chose yogurt over the very large, succulent looking chocolate chip cookie that rests not 10 feet away. I will eat it later, but the decision has made me feel pretty good about the present moment. I can't find anything positive about my sore throat or the cough that constantly agitates it, but I'll let you know if I do.
I know none of you really know how deeply depressed I have felt the last few days, but I am hear to let you know, I am back! But not in that annoying, peppy, nothing-will-ever-get-me-down, kind of way. Just that life's-not-bad-at-the-moment-so-I'm-gonna-enjoy-it kind of way. I hope it lasts awhile. But when it does pass, I hope I'll use whatever strength God gives me to look upward instead of inward.