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It's interesting to look at your life, past to present, and think: "It has all led up to this...." And then wonder where it will lead to next.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Early Mornings

My heart longs...
For truth with no lies attached.
Life with no death to follow.
Morning with no darkness to come.
Hope without lingering doubt.
My heart always longs. For more.

Early mornings reveal our hearts desires. I haven't had an early morning in quite some time. Getting up with sick babies doesn't count. While in classes I'd get up early to do homework before Aiden got up, but I rarely raised my head from the books long enough to catch a glimpse of the sunrise, so those don't count much either. Today, I got a real live early morning. All to myself. I didn't love the idea at first. Thanks to achy muscles and a grumbling belly, I didn't fall asleep until 1:30 a.m., only to wake at 6:00 a.m. to a full bladder, even hungrier stomach, and a very energetic baby in utero. So after a trip to the loo, I headed to the kitchen to make myself some eggs, toast, and coffee. Breakfast in hand, I made my way to the couch to sit in quiet and read a good book. Is the Bible actually more powerful and clear in the morning, or is my heart simply more honest and open? There is something beautiful about desire, when you quit your whining, admit its there, and soak up the moments you have to dream. Suddenly the unwashed dishes, the blocks scattered across the floor (that you keep stepping on), the laundry you can never catch up on, the child's attention you can never quite fill, the husband you can never seem to spend enough time with, all fades to the background. In the bliss of early morning light when everything that needs to get done simply sits, that is when life makes most sense. There is a peace there that doesn't require answers, plans, or fulfilled goals. The feeling may fade through out the day, but fortunately God made each day to begin with a morning. For that I am eternally thankful.


Breka said...

I'm glad you also love the early mornings. This actually just made me look forward to getting up tomorrow.

Serenity said...

I like the poem at the beginning. Yours?

Faith said...

Yes and thank you. :)

Caitlin said...

This is beautiful, Faith. I feel the exact same way about mornings. I think that maybe it's because the dawn in between the night and the day, it's a time between times and it allows for a liminal state of being. A feeling of mysterious suspension between the cares of the waking day and the discomforts and sleeplessness of some nights. It lets me focus more on who I am instead of what I'm doing or what I need to do. Thanks for sharing this. All of your posts have been a conviction and a comfort to me, and I appreciate your words.

Sam said...

I second Caitlin. only less eloquently. I've always felt like I was getting in on something big and great, a secret perhaps, by having mornings. the gap between one day and another. mornings are 'nomans' land...and I get to visit.