Pre-pregnancy Jeans

There have been a pair of jeans sitting at the bottom of my drawer since I first upgraded to maternity jeans 15 months ago. Worn out and patient. Glanced at. Pined for. Pulled out occasionally, only to be returned as quickly as possible. They have represented so much. My past. My future. The so much that has happened in between.

All the growing (all kinds of growing).

All the changing (all kinds of changing).

All the pain, sorrow, anger.

All the joy, freedom, and rejuvenation.

In a lot of ways the last 15 months feels the length of a life time.

I squeezed slid into my favorite pre-pregnancy jeans today--a day I have been waiting for for a very, very long time. After DANCING for joy while standing on top of the toilet to snap a celebratory pre-pregnancy-jean-butt picture (to which my three year old very disapprovingly said, "That's dangerous mommy..."), it began to register (as things so often do whilst upon the porcelain bowl) that though my body is "back" (the size anyway) there are so many things that aren't, and never will be. So much is different now. I feel very much a new person. In so many ways I will never be the same.

In so many ways I am thankful for that.