Waking up is so much harder than it seems.

I've been thinking a lot lately about all the stuff I own. All the stuff I want to own. Basically if it is anything cheap (or often even expensive) and trendy, it's probably made by a company who makes money by taking advantage of and contributing to the oppression of the poor. Meaning, I am doing that too. I've read articles that were written yesterday, I've read articles that were written years ago. This information has been here. How is it that I have not cared enough to know until now? No. How is it that I have not cared enough to know more and act?

The more I research, the more overwhelmed I get. The more I just want to stay inside, not buy anything, and hope it all disappears and none of the blame falls on me. I know many of you feel the same. So we play the guilt game, and once the shame wears off, we move on and continue living as we always have. I know this because I've heard these conversations for years, and yet I don't see any change. If people like you and me don't do anything to change this, it's not going to happen. There are only so many brilliant humanitarians on this earth, and only so much they can do. It's easy to look at the wealthy and the famous and think, do something with your money! Instead of giving hand outs,why not create a better system? But really, couldn't we demand the same of ourselves? Shouldn't we?

This is where I get overwhelmed. I am not a pioneer. I don't want to be. Pioneers have to work really hard with little to no pay back. They have to use their minds and hearts consistently and continually. They are often considered foolish and their work is often labeled as a lost cause. Worst yet, they are ordinary people, so none of it comes easy! I'd rather be told what to do. Float along doing what I am told, and feel good about it. As strong-willed as I'd like to see myself, I don't really want to have to use my mind that much. Perhaps feel like I am, or when I want to. But not have to. I sound a little dense, don't I? Well, I am. This is what has gotten our world into this mess in the first place. Purposeful denial. Laziness. Greed. The love of ourselves before all others. We all suffer from it. It's called sin.

God is bigger. That's what we sing right? I'd like to live that. Instead of letting limitations create the way I live, I want to live the way it really is. GOD is BIGGER! We are overwhelmed. He is not. I believe He loves it when we stand up and say, use me! You are bigger! Reveal Your strength in my weakness! You created me, lead me! I want my life to honor you! What does it mean to honor God? Think about it and then look at your life and see if things match up. I know in mine they most often don't. I want that to change.

Now of course, I am not a complete crazy person. I know that we can't change everything in an instant. The truth is, we can't change a single thing. Do you ever find yourself wishing for Christ's return, just so you don't have to worry about all this crap. Because you know when He returns, everything will change and it won't be up to you? But the same is true for right here and now. God is the one doing the work. Making things happen. When we are willing to admit that, I think we'll find our limitations diminish.

So let's take baby steps. I for one have been on this cycle for a long time and I know I am going to struggle greatly to allow or even want God to use me (even though I claim I do all the time, it's simply not true when I actually look at myself).

Prayer. This should be the starting point for all things. I do not pray as much as I used to, or with as much faith or fervor as I'd like to. Most of the time I don't feel like praying. Honestly, the only way I see changing that is just... praying. Let's pray before we research. During. After. Pray for open eyes. For protection against the enemy. For guidane. Then see where God leads us from there.

Please don't be limited to what I share here. Make this your journey.

Watch this.